Have I made your jaws hit the floor? Are you already determining how to give me the biggest typed tongue lashing of your parenting career? Hold that thought, hear me out.
First of all, I have to say that I am pretty choosey when it comes to what my children watch. Pretty much anything on PBS Kids is allowed, and then a select few other shows. I have determined an appropriate selection for them that I find helps them be thoughtful, educational, and increases their talents and skills.
I have to give a plug for Netflix here. It is so easy for me to see what my children are watching, and Netflix will recommend shows that have similar qualities. Amazon Prime offers a similar service.
Once I have screened a television show, we talk about expectations for our children. Little Miss will be 5 and entering Kindergarten and Little Sir will be 3. We expect our kids to contribute to our house and find ways to serve each other. If they are meeting the family expectations, they are allowed to participate in rewarding activities, like television. Not being nice to Mom and Dad? No TV. You didn't put away your dishes/clothes/hair bands/etc.? Your favorite show will be waiting for you (again, thank you Netflix).
So why don't I put a limit on how much they watch? Because for the most part, I watch with them. We talk about what they are watching and I hear the words the little characters are saying. If I hear something I don't agree with, we pause it and talk about it. I can honestly say that my children are LEARNING from these programs!
Here is an example: We had a babysitter this morning and because Little Miss had not met some family expectations she could not have a reward that she really wanted. When I came home and had dropped off the babysitter, my daughter looked me in the eye and said, "Mom, I'm really, very sorry." I was so blown away by her sincerity and confused at her apology and asked her why she needed to apologize. She proceeded to tell me about how she had taken her reward anyway and had planned on sneaking it, but decided that she needed to tell me instead. I hugged her and explained that what she had done was such a grown-up thing to do, and that it was called honesty and sincerity. She hugged me back and said, "Thanks, Mom. Justin Time showed me it was a good thing to do." My almost 5 year old, not yet kindergartner had learned a principle from a television show that I know many adults struggle with.
Some of you may wonder how I can possibly live with myself knowing that my children are learning necessary principles from a TV show! The truth is, I did feel a little guilty when I first sat down in front of the TV with my kids and realized an hour had gone by and we were still enthralled in the latest episode of Sesame Street. I see all these amazing moms that sit their children down and teach them all kinds of amazing things, one on one. I see posts and pictures and blogs of moms displaying their immaculate creations with their toddlers and all they accomplish with their multiple home schooled children. These moms have every right to be proud of their family's accomplishments! It truly is amazing! But what makes it amazing is the fact that Mom has found something that works for HER. Something she can consistently use to teach and love her children! That is worth celebrating every day. Any mom who finds that "thing" that makes teaching and loving her children easier and more natural should never feel guilt or shame that her "thing" isn't what the blog next door is doing. This same feeling applies to me, doesn't it? I'm a Mom who has found a "thing" that makes teaching and loving my children work for me! We talk, we laugh, we spend time together and we learn! I can relate to them and to what they are learning.
So, thank you to my new Mommy sidekick - the television. I consider it a tool. One that I can control, one that is helpful to me and my children, and something that we can evaluate in our family.
